- So many people talk about “the Day that Changes Your Life”. But is that how things really happen, in a single flash of lightning moment? And is there a system you can use, to create that trigger and inspiration over and over and use it to take giant leaps forward?
- The event that changes your life doesn’t have to happen to you, you can create it, you can trigger it yourself
- The change and growth are not an event but a process and if you approach it as a process then you approach it in a realistic manner and your chances of success go dramatically through the roof.
- Watch the video to get the full training.
- This is a MUST WATCH episode about how to 10X YOUR LIFE and unleash your genius on command
Alright folks, here’s a really interesting one. The day that changes your life: Fact or Fiction?
Let’s find out! I’m Alex Goad, best-selling author, coach, an internet marketing business specialist and today as you’ve guessed it, the topic of our 10X Your Life lecture is ‘The day that changes your life’.
So this is an idea that’s all over the place, it’s all over the place for good reason because the day that changes your life is a dramatic idea, it’s very interesting, it’s kind of sexy also and a lot of people talk about it. If you see a lot of top self-help experts, a lot of movies are made that way where something happens to the hero and all of a sudden in that exact moment everything changes and never becomes the same again. But is that how it happens in real life? It’s an interesting question. I don’t think there’s a 100% clear-cut answer and I hope that you’ll give me your opinion at the end but for now here’s mine.
So, here’s the way that I look at this.
The day that changes your life, again we will say that the idea is that one single thing happens, it could be a good thing, it could be a bad thing, it could be a warning, it could be something that all of a sudden makes you assess and find out where you’re at in life and see it clearly and think, ‘you know I don’t like this, I want to change it’. It’s all over the place, it seems to be really popular when you have a car accident.
Now the interesting thing though is that research shows is a very very interesting book and it’s very short as well, I highly recommend it, it’s called “Change or Die” and in the book the author talks about a couple of different scenarios where you would really expect people to change based on an event that’s happened to them.
Two of the biggest examples that he uses in the book are:
Number one, having a heart attack. So he followed something like hundreds of patients that had a heart attack based on an unhealthy lifestyle and then they had the heart attack, they went to the hospital, they survived and their doctor told them point-blank, ‘buddy if you don’t change, bad news, bad news you’re gonna die, probably within two years from another heart attack’. So that’s the title of the book, change or die and the author thought at first is like for sure if someone under the threat of death just needs to change a couple of things in their lifestyle, for sure they’re gonna do it. Well it turns out that they made a study, they made several studies and they found out that less than 15% of all the people who were faced with that situation actually changed. So did the event change their life, might have made them a little more anxious as they chow down those french fries but it doesn’t seem to have stopped them from eating them.
The second example that we see in the book is people who’ve gone to jail, they’ve gone to prison for doing something bad and then they’ve been quote-unquote reformed. They’ve spent a lot of time there and supposedly they’re better. But how come, how is it that as soon as they’re out of jail, they kind of reconnect with the criminal element within themselves and they end up back in jail often for a longer sentence, often within just a couple of months? So it would seem that an event even a very punitive event is not sufficient to make people change. Of course there’s the 15% but I would rather put my odds on the 85%.
So let’s talk about why this idea is so darn interesting and so darn compelling. I have a theory, it’s because it gives the impression that change and growth are an event, that it can happen like a flash of lightning or a touch from the heavens and then poof, you’re a different person.
Whereas if it’s going to happen the other way, it means that you’re gonna have to work on it, you’re gonna have to think, you’re gonna have to come back to it, you’re going to have to look at yourself honestly, you’re gonna have to look at your actions and you’re going to have to invest in the new you that you want to get and it’s not going to happen in the snap of the fingers.
So here’s how it does happen though and here’s where the event really does make it very big difference. So I think the other reason probably why it’s such a compelling idea is because we’ve all had those kind of events in our lives, maybe we haven’t had a heart attack but sometimes it happens just watching a movie, watching a TV series. You see a hero go through so much hardship and put out so much courage that it inspires you, it tickles something inside of you that says, ‘I want to do better in my own life’, no matter what it is in your relationships, maybe you want to change your health, maybe you want to start a business, maybe probably you’ve got a great idea inside of yourself and you’d like to share it with the world and most probably you know that you could be so much more and yet you take very little to, in fact no action on a daily basis to get there. Well if you’re looking for an event to come in and change that, you can have that event right now if you choose because that’s really how it works more than anything else.
What does the event do, what is the day that changes your life. Well it acts as a trigger and it triggers a state of being and it triggers a state of being that is actually extraordinarily empowering and it allows you to do a whole bunch of stuff that we don’t usually do, because here’s the way that I kind of imagine it.
We become dull to our own life, we become so accustomed to what we’re doing, we’ve become accustomed to waking up at the same time having the same thoughts having the same habits the same behavior patterns, driving to work in the same exact way, talking about the same things with the same people and eventually our life kind of becomes like a bunch of televisions playing in the background in a sports bar while you’re having another conversation. You don’t even notice it going on, you don’t even notice basically the time passing, you don’t notice the inflection points, the decisions that you make or the decisions that you don’t make and the consequences that either appear or don’t appear based on those decisions. So all of a sudden you have an event and what happens it triggers the state of being, it triggers a state of being that I’m going to call the peak state and from this peak state that’s where all of a sudden we’re kind of like sucked out of our life and we’re over it and we look at it and we can finally see it clearly and from that perspective that’s where all of the magic happens. So there’s a system for doing this, it’s actually quite simple.
Alright, so let’s talk about the first point of the state of being in a peak state.
1) The number one thing is awareness. So a trigger happens, it doesn’t have to be an event, you can trigger it yourself but something happens that all of a sudden makes you aware. So suddenly you see that which you were not seeing, it’s not that it wasn’t there before, it’s that you just weren’t looking at it or you weren’t paying attention or it was kind of like something going on in the background and you didn’t even know it was there. Well all of a sudden you fix your eyes on it and bam there it is. Now you see it clearly, there you go ‘okay I see you’.
2) The second thing is truth, so when we get into a peak state, we’re much more tolerant of truth. A lot of the times as I was just saying, we’re kind of hypnotized into being ourselves. We’re dull to the world and we’re also dull to the places where we’re lying to ourselves, we’re kidding ourselves where we’re not showing up and we’re not really willing to recognize it. Well all of a sudden what’s different from being in a peak state is that as soon as you’re in a peak state, you go, ‘I’m aware of what’s happening and I see myself and I’m willing to accept that what I’m doing is less than what I need to be doing’, and so this magical truth that just keeps coming up really creates or continues this cycle that allows action to be taken and things to change, growth to happen, massive growth if that’s what you’re looking for.
3) Alright, moving on to number three. So number three is clarity.
So we already started here with the the first two, truth and awareness but now we’re in a peak state, we get clarity. So finally we’re willing to assess the situation as it is, we’re willing to see ourselves in our role in that situation as we truly are, as we’re showing up and it provides this clarity that all of a sudden much of the confusion that was there is gone. It becomes easier to make a decision, it becomes easier to change or to leave aside something that you’ve been doing your whole life and then all of a sudden you say, ‘You know what I’ve been doing things that way but now I’m gonna do things this way because it’s going to be better for me’, and that comes from a point of superior clarity.
4) And finally the last thing that you’ll get from a peak state and you’ll get more out of it but in terms of growth and change, the last thing that you’re going to get is an action bias. Action bias, what does it mean, it means that normally speaking when we approach these kind of big ideas, these big desires in our life or this kind of urge that we have to do things differently, to be better than ourselves. Well it stays there in a kind of slow and sluggish part of our mind and it never really enters our full consciousness, our doing consciousness and all of a sudden when you’re in a peak state you can imagine yourself doing things that you’ve never done before. You can imagine yourself asking that girl out on the hot date, you can imagine yourself asking for the promotion. You can imagine yourself writing a book, you can imagine yourself putting your best material out there turning on a camera and shooting it and publishing it on YouTube and letting everyone your friends and your family look at it and judge for themselves the quality of your ideas, that might seem impossible in other times but all of a sudden when you’re in a peak state it doesn’t.
Okay, so the event creates this peak state that all of a sudden gives you the awareness, makes you truthful towards yourself, makes things clear and makes it possible for you to act. So that’s what the event does, that’s what the trigger does. But let me tell you right now, it’s not enough, it’s not even close to being enough because as we’ve seen from statistics this happens to everybody and yet most people do nothing about it.
Here’s how you do something about it, okay so first of all we’ve talked about this enough and I’m not going to go on. The first step is kind of to get into a peak state and there are triggers for this, this is something that you can create, it doesn’t have to happen to you. You know a lot of times why is it for example that when someone has a car accident or a heart attack or something like that that they suddenly get into a peak state and they think about all these things. Well it’s because they suddenly become aware of you know, ‘hey I’m not gonna last forever, I don’t have that much time to change myself and to start living the life that I want to live’, but you can do that on a daily basis, you can connect with that part of you that’s not delusional about the fact that you have all the time in the world to become the person that you want to be. In fact you can kind of train yourself to make the best use out of every minute, you can train yourself to confront or familiarize yourself with your own mortality and the mortality of people that you love. You can use all sorts of strategies to kind of seize yourself out of the dull and hazy ether of slow days and unconscious living and if you do that everyday then you start to live in a peak state.
So we need to start from a peak state. The next thing is you need to make a decision and the decisions that you make in a peak state, it’s actually easier to make decisions because we just thought we have an action bias, we’re doing things based on truth, we’re finally aware and we’re really clear. So here it’s much more likely that we’re able and willing to make a good decision but making a decision is still not enough because the real truth is that only people who have incredible self-knowledge and are incredibly accomplished are able to make high-level decisions with a snap of a finger and then see them through to the end. Most of the time and most of us just don’t have the self-knowledge and don’t have the experience of doing big things that allows us to just with our minds suddenly snap something into place, it’s not enough and that doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person, it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault, it doesn’t mean anything like that. It just means that human nature is human nature and when you go with it things go better and when you try to against it and think that you’re better or stronger than it, well you’re fighting against nature and we all know how that ends.
Alright, the next step to creating massive growth of success in changing your life is anchoring your decisions in a success environment. What’s a success environment, well we can see through different parts of research and I’m sure that you’ve experienced this yourself that you have higher and better performance in some environments than in others. An environment might include the people who are there, it might include what you say or don’t say to those people, it might include the other things that you could do in your environment and it might include for example other things that allow you to let yourself off the hook. All of those things are part of the environment and the more you kind of pre-plan how your decision is going to exist in your success environment, the better off or the better you’re going to be able to see it through until the end.
So I’ve noted just two points here that I want to single out in particular but there’s several more that constitute the success environment and I’m going to be talking about this in a very special video coming up in the near future.
1. Activation energy – this is a really interesting concept and I learned about it in a book called “The Happiness Advantage” by Shawn Achor. Actually a really great book, highly recommended, and what it refers to is the fact that your environment as it is makes it either easier or harder for you to make certain choices.
Here’s an example that he gives in the book, he says if you come home from work or if you go to bed at night with the idea that you’re gonna go jogging in the morning and then you find that it’s difficult for you to do that. Well one of the things that in the research made people actually get up and do it is that they would go to sleep in their gym clothes, they would go to sleep in their gym clothes and they’d have their running shoes right there next to the bed when they wake up.
Okay that’s actually creating a success environment because it means that it’s easier to just put on your shoes and go run than it is to do something else. Whereas if you don’t know where your shoes are, if you don’t have any socks and if all your clothes are dirty then it’s much harder to kind of figure it out, you got to make all of these decisions, you got to make those adjustments, you’re tired you don’t feel like it and on top of it the environment is making it hard instead of making it easy, not gonna work.
So you can basically shape your environment, I’m talking in a physical manner so that it’s easier to do the thing that you want to do and harder to do the thing that you don’t want to do. A really simple example is if you don’t want to eat junk food, well don’t have junk food in your fridge and don’t have junk food in your cupboard, you know it’s a foregone certainty that when it gets to the late-night snack time and you’re in kind of snack panic mode, you’re gonna eat that stuff if it’s there. If it’s not there, it makes it a lot more difficult. It’s the difference between having to put on a coat drive to the store and buy it rather than just reaching your hand into the closet and emptying that bag of Cheetos.
2. Outsourcing accountability – this is incredibly supremely important because another one of the facts of human nature that seem to be true for the vast vast majority of us is that it is a lot easier for us to be accountable to others than to our own self. So one of the things that makes success that creates a success environment is how are you making it so that you kind of have an obligation from the outside or at least some pressure to follow through on what you said you were going to do. There’s always ways to do this, you can commit to someone, you can commit publicly, you can hire a coach and any one of those things makes it harder for you to just cop out. When the only thing holding you accountable is yourself, it’s incredibly easy to just say I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll do it the day after that, I did half that’s good enough. What’s good enough for ourselves is often not good enough for the people and we can use this as a tool to kind of draw us forward and force us to put that final… take those final steps and get over that finish line so that we can say, ‘You see you see I did it!!!’.
And finally the last thing is to assess. So we like to think that things happen by magic, you know that we have a triggering event, we make a decision and then we kind of plan how that decision is going to influence our activities on a daily basis but then we fail to realize and we fail to connect with the sufficient truth of the fact that it’s gonna be probably harder than you think, it’s gonna be harder than you think and this is kind of the idea of you know you hear a piece of music once and then you think you can play it by ear perfectly and you practice what you think is the song and then you listen to the song again you go like, ‘hmm I didn’t get that quite right’.
It’s very very simple, we need to assess, we need to measure, we need to look at things objectively so that we can really see like here’s the standard that I’m setting for myself and here’s what I’m doing or here’s what I’m doing, but the more you’re willing to have a look at that, not in the beginning but at some point in the middle of the process and as often as necessary that’s how you create a new habit.
Alright, so now you get to this point here and you assess how’s the change or the growth that I’m trying to get in my life, how’s that going for me, am I there, am I not quite there, do I still have a lot of work to put in and depending on the size of the change things are harder or easier. I think it’s pretty obvious but if you’re doing something that’s relatively hard or that’s new for you or you’re not used to using a system to create change in your life then when you get to this point you assess and you see that you’re actually kind of still on the old habit, you’re on the old way of doing things. If you don’t force yourself and catch yourself you would very very quickly fall back to the entirely old way of doing things.
So when you do the assessment you can have one of two answers, you have the answer that:
– you’re still on the old habit or
– you can have the answer that you’re on the new habit.
You examine your behavior, you examine the result of your behavior and you go like yeah 100% or close to 100% and that means that from that moment on that change is locked into your life.
It’s yours, you own it, congratulations! But if you don’t and even if you’re at like eight point five out of ten, it’s not enough because old habits tend to have a lot of gravity and they come back if you’re not careful.
So what do you do if you’ve gone through this process and you’re still not quite there?
Well you do it again!
It’s really that simple, so you assess and it’s a good time to do it is right when you assess because when you assess and you look at it, if you’re objective, if you’re truthful and if you do it from a peak state, it’s actually going to reinforce the peak state because it’s gonna go, ‘okay I decided that I’m going to eat well, I decided I’m gonna work out because I want to be healthy not sick and I want to make sure that I’m going to be around for my grand kids or whatever it may be’. And so the second that you realize that hey you’re not quite doing it, you’re still subjecting yourself to a high possibility of bad events taking place, that’s kind of like a little bell that goes off and the triggers or helps reinforce the peak state. The peak state in which you made the decision but now it’s time to reaffirm the decision, you know examine it from different sides, reconnect with the meaning of it and then look at your success environment and see:
Have you allowed things to slip in there that don’t belong?
Are there things that now that you’ve gone through the cycle?
Are there things in your environment that are counterproductive rather than helping you get what you want?
If that’s the case fix it and finally assess again and then you can just keep going again and again and depending on the size of the change that you’re trying to make. You may have to go through the cycle more than once but you’re going to learn to love this cycle because:
the way that you change one thing is the way that you change anything that you want to change.
So this is the process for doing that.
So what’s the takeaway? Well I have two of them:
1) The event that changes your life doesn’t have to happen to you, you can create it, you can trigger it yourself
2) The change and growth are not an event but a process and if you approach it as a process then you approach it in a realistic manner and your chances of success go dramatically through the roof.
So hey I’d really love to hear your opinion about this, what do you think, is it fact or fiction that there’s a day that changes your life?
Let me know in the comments below and if you will give me a little share or some love on social media, I’d totally appreciate that!
Finally I want to invite you to enter your name or email in the box below or on my website so that I can send you some more great content. I’ve got tons more like this coming your way, tips strategies secrets to dramatically improve your life and accelerate the pace of the improvement, that’s why this program is called 10X Your Life.
So hey I’m Alex Goad, it’s been an honor and a pleasure, thanks for watching this and remember today counts so behave yourself accordingly.
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