Summary

  • If you’ve ever wondered, “What makes it possible for that part that’s above the water, the jut, to be seen by others?”  It’s because it’s standing on everything that’s underneath it. 
  • Nobody ever gets to great things that doesn’t go through the process, that doesn’t start small, that doesn’t struggle
  • Of course, injuries are painful.  They’re discouraging.  But they also make it so that you can’t train as hard as you want to. 
  • Don’t compare yourself to others.  Compare yourself to where you’re starting from.
  • You’re one of the fighters in the arena, not one of the spectators in the stands.  At the end of the day, that’s what makes all the difference.
  • The thing is, when they were at the planning stage of their project, they could not predict or see who those helping hands were going to be.  Those people and those resources appear when you start walking down that path and you start making your way down and you start struggling and when you mean it enough that you fall flat on your face and you get up, and you do it again, and you do it again. 
  • And, so, the first thing that you know, you start getting assistance from a whole bunch of different places.  Where the assistance is going to come from, that’s not your business.  What is your business is to show up every day and do the work.  That’s your part. 
  • Be your own person and get out there on the field and do your part of the work today, and it will make all the difference.
  • Watch the video to get the full training.
  • This is a MUST WATCH episode about how to 10X YOUR LIFE and don’t compare yourself to others

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Full Transcript for the Article

Hey, Folks.  Best-selling coach, author, and business strategist, Alex Goad here.  I’m back today with a short Riverside Marketing and Life capsule.

This fits into the context of my new “10X Your Life” program, and it’s an important piece.  It talks about why it’s the kiss of death to compare yourself to others, especially if you do it the wrong way.  I’m not sure there is a right way to compare yourself to others, but there certainly is a wrong way, and we’re going to talk about that for just a minute, because everybody does it, and it really hurts your self-esteem.  It hurts your self-confidence, and it hurts your ability to get up and show up and do the things that you need to do so that you can kick some ass in this world.

Let’s get started.  This is a concept that I learned from one of my mentors and the great thinker and teacher, Dan Sullivan, of Strategic Coach.  He calls it “Front Stage / Back Stage.”  Meaning that, whenever you look at something impressive, a great accomplishment, a big piece of music, a work of art, a striving business, a very polished person, either on the news, on TV, an actor.  When you see someone who is incredibly fit or someone who’s incredibly good at what they do, that’s often the people that we use as models, and it’s also the people that we often use as comparison points for ourselves. 

There’s a big problem with that because what you’re looking at is the tip of the iceberg.  That’s the front stage.  That’s the actor on the stage with all the lights trained on them with years of acting practice with hundreds of times rehearsing the exact lines that you’re hearing them speak.  They’re also being supported by an incredible cast, and there’s probably for every one person on the stage, there’s 20, 30, sometimes 50 or 100 people backstage making things happen.  That’s the kind of front stage / back stage idea. 

I like to look at it like an iceberg which it feels like there might be one floating by any second now because I’m here in the Canadian winter, and it’s getting pretty cold.  But here’s the idea – for every inch of the iceberg, for every foot of the iceberg that you see above the surface, there’s 10, 15, or 20 that are under the surface.  If you’ve ever wondered, “What makes it possible for that part that’s above the water, the jut, to be seen by others?”  It’s because it’s standing on everything that’s underneath it. 

That’s a problem because a lot of people try to avoid that.  What stands on the underwater part of the iceberg?  Let’s think about it for a second.  It’s pain.  It’s failure.  It’s struggle.  It’s being far less good at the thing that you want to do than you would want to be at it.  It’s sucking.  That’s the reality.  And there’s no escaping from it.  Nobody ever gets to great things that doesn’t go through the process, that doesn’t start small, that doesn’t struggle, that’s not willing to get up early, feel tired, make some progress while feeling that they make none, take assessment of things and feel like you still have 99% of the way to go even though you’ve been working your butt off for too long already.  That’s the just the way it is.

One of the reasons why I’m making this video today is because a young friend of mine and a very close person in my life is working out at becoming an Instagram influencer.  He just turned 17, and he’s just starting out. This has been a dream of his for some time.  He’s looking at these big, giant Instagram accounts of people that are several years older than him, people that are in their early 20’s.  There’s so many things that he doesn’t realize about what it takes to get there and what those people have already gone through.  If he compares himself to them, he sees that he’s too skinny, his skin is not perfect enough, the pictures aren’t good enough, the locations aren’t good enough, the creativity’s not there, the music’s not there, the video editing skills aren’t there.  You look at that, and you think, “How can I ever bridge that gap?  It’s ridiculously intimidating.”

It doesn’t get bridged overnight.  It doesn’t get bridged by yourself, either, which is one of the big reasons why you don’t compare yourself to those things.  What you see, the picture that you see on the account, that’s the tip of the iceberg.  That’s the guy with makeup on.  That’s the best photo that’s they’ve taken all day, and it’s been professionally photoshopped by a great photoshop artist.  And he’s been doing it for four or five years. 

 Another thing is that you don’t have the body in your early 20’s that you do in your late teens.  It’s just not the same thing, especially if you’re a man.  You’re going to grow into that, and it’s going to make one heck of a difference.  It’s even going to make a difference in your facial features.  It’s going to make a difference in the quality of your skin.  All of those things are what contribute to making that appearance of greatness that you’re otherwise not going to have just taking photos of yourself with an outdated phone and bad lighting.

One of the people that impresses me the most and that has for a long time is the Olympic sprinter, Usain Bolt.  He has retired recently, which might give a chance for someone else to finally win a race once in a while, although they’re probably going to be a long time before anybody breaks his records, incredible records, numbers that a lot of people thought were never going to be achieved.  And, yet, here they are.

There’s a really interesting documentary on Usain Bolt in Netflix called “Bolt.”  He talks about and documents his struggles, his tribulations, his practice, and his training as he worked his way up to become one of the greatest Olympic champions of all time.  I watched this a couple months ago, and there was a lot that was interesting about it because you see that this mountain of a man, this incredible doer, this incredible achiever, is just a man like every last one of us.  He struggled, he failed multiple times, he felt like giving up.  And the whole enterprise that he’s world famous for was threatened, more than once.

Here’s the part that I found the most fascinating.  It’s that Bolt had serious problems with scoliosis, and he still has scoliosis.  If you don’t know what that is, it’s a deviation of the spine, and it makes it really difficult for you to be a professional athlete.  He discovered this in his late teens because that’s when the scoliosis started getting worse.  His back started really getting bent out of shape, and the repercussion that that had is that he was still able to run pretty fast and train decently, but he was getting injured a lot and more and more.  Of course, injuries are painful.  They’re discouraging.  But they also make it so that you can’t train as hard as you want to.  Or, you can’t train as hard as you need to.  And, so, you think, “How does this guy that goes on to accomplishing these incredible things, could it really be true that he had a true disadvantage like that, a genetic disadvantage, or a nature-given disadvantage that the vast majority of people struggle with their whole lives and, yet, he overcame that?”

 I found it really fascinating to see that because he didn’t overcome it once he was already a world champion.  He overcame it at a period in his life where people would look at him and say, “You’re good, but you’re not great yet.  You have the potential for greatness, but will you be able to overcome this?”  A lot of people didn’t think so.  His coach thought so.  His parents thought so, and he was willing to give it a try.  He shopped around for different doctors and ended up in Belgium and found someone there that gave him a series of exercises that he diligently followed, and then he got out the other side.

 I don’t know how many Olympic gold medals that guy’s got now, but I can tell you that his achievements are not going to be soon forgotten.  They almost never happened in the first place.  You have to remember that when you decide to launch yourself on a great journey, go on a long trip, or accomplish something bigger than what you’ve accomplished so far, or do something that’s really a true challenge to yourself because it stretches the limits of your abilities.

 Don’t compare yourself to others.  Compare yourself to where you’re starting from.  Remind yourself that if you’re actually on that path, you’re one of the few, not one of the many.  You’re one of the fighters in the arena, not one of the spectators in the stands.  At the end of the day, that’s what makes all the difference.

 One last thing that I want to remind you of is that everybody that accomplishes something on that level, not a single one of them did it alone.  Not one of them.  They got assistance, not from one person but from a ton of different people.  The thing is, when they were at the planning stage of their project, they could not predict or see who those helping hands were going to be.  Those people and those resources appear when you start walking down that path and you start making your way down and you start struggling and when you mean it enough that you fall flat on your face and you get up, and you do it again, and you do it again.  Eventually, some people start noticing that, and they don’t just notice that you’re getting better and better all the time.  They notice that when you fall, you get back up.  That gains their respect, and they want to do something for you.

 And, so, the first thing that you know, you start getting assistance from a whole bunch of different places.  Where the assistance is going to come from, that’s not your business.  What is your business is to show up every day and do the work.  That’s your part. 

 One last thing before I go.  If any of this sounds hard or discouraging, it certainly is hard, but I wouldn’t let it discourage you.  At the end of the day, you’re either in the stands or you’re on the playing field.  If you’re in the stands, you can have a good time, but you’re really at the mercy of the teams on the field and of so many other things.  The stuff that you really want in your life doesn’t happen up there where you clap your hands and drink Pepsi and eat hot dogs.  It happens down there on the field where you can get hurt, where you can be humiliated, where you need to work hard, and where you’re not going to win all the time.  But, when you do win, it’s going to be your wins, your way.  And the only way that you ever get there is by showing up, showing up repeatedly, and doing today’s work today instead of putting it off, instead of trying to have it all figured out before you start.

Don’t compare yourself to others.  Be your own person and get out there on the field and do your part of the work today, and it will make all the difference.

 This concludes this marketing and life capsule.  I’m Alex Goad reminding you that, “Today matters, so behave yourself accordingly.”  I’ll see you next time.